No, no, no. Not YOU. You are fabulous and awesome. But me, well, I apparently suck at life. Or so I’ve been told the last three days.
Here’s the thing: I can take constructive criticism. No, really – I can. Oh sure, when you first deliver said constructive criticism to me I’ll get all pissy and defensive. But an hour later I’ll realize you were right and were only trying to help me, so I’ll bake you some of these and come crawling back to apologize.
This has not been constructive criticism. This has been harsh,unwarranted disparagement. And while I can shake it off for the most part, I’d by lying if I said it didn’t get under my skin a little. Which is why I was in need of more than a run to get my frustrations out. Frankly, I was in the mood to punch something.
But seriously, you probably know by now that I am not violent person. But I feel the need to tell you that I’m not before going any further with this story. In those heated situations when fight-or-flight instincts kick in, I go with flight 100% of the time.
And I’ve actually never been in a fight. Unless you count the time in fifh grade when my supposed best friend chased me home from school, pushed me down and told me I could not be in her “Star Search” audition tape because I was the worst dancer she’d ever seen. Yeah, that really happened. And I forgave her. Because she was totally right. Also, I knew she’d never make it to Ed McMahon. She thought she sounded like Mariah Carey but she absolutley sucked – and that’s not constructive criticism.
Anyway, now that we’re clear that I’m a non-violent, sucky dancer let’s get on with it…
I don’t have a punching bag so I went searching for my old Taebo tapes instead - Billy Blanks and I had a date pretty much every day of my junior year of high school. But then I realized even if I found them I have no way to play them because they are on VHS. And seriously, who has a VCR these days? If by chance you do, I’m sorry if I offended you.
Also, can I borrow your VCR?
In light of my lack of vintage technology, I opted for this DVD instead:
Yeah, Jillian and I made up. We had a heart to heart. I asked her to not be so annoying. She said she couldn’t do that but pointed out that while I did indeed wear shorts and a tank top on Sunday, that by no means meant that I should have. (My apologies to everyone that had to witness my bare limbs.) Maybe, she gently suggested, a little shredding and kickboxing would do me some good.
Constructive criticism – I told you can, I can take it.
So, I did both. I started with the kickboxing. I don’t know if you’ve done this workout before, but it’s like one of Jillian’s first workout DVD’s. It’s about 20 minutes long and is a decent workout, but not awesome. It did the trick though and definitley helped me get out some of my pent up rage. The rest of the rage was promptly sweated out during our reunited shred.
And while I appreciate the extra workout motivation, all non-constructive criticism can stop. At least until I can find those Taebo tapes and get my hands on a VCR…